Nearing the end of another chapter

Chest to chest
Nose to nose
Palm to palm
We were always just that close
Wrist to wrist
Toe to toe
Lips that felt just like the inside of a rose
So how come when I reach out my finger
It feels like more than distance between us

Just when I felt like giving up on us
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got wetter
So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I don't wanna seem so weak
Maybe I've been California dreaming

- California King bed

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I still love you and I still want to be with you and I know you feel the same way. But we are no longer together. We both know that this decision is the best for the both of us but its even harder to part knowing that we still love each other. Everytime I close my eyes I think of the things we've done together from the beginning till the end of our relationship.. I think of all the things we've talked about and wanted to do together this summer. I know I haven't been the most understanding girlfriend and I haven't always been satisfied throughout our 1 year + 1 month relationship. But I don't regret a single thing we've gone through. I can no longer continue hurting myself and I don't want you to feel the pressure anymore.. you always say you've failed and you don't deserve me. But i know you tried and that means a lot to me. Maybe I just expect too much.. we love each other but maybe it isn't the right time for us right now. You are one of the nicest guys I know and I know you are sincere at heart. I really hope we can keep our promise of never avoiding each other. You were an important part of my life and I hope you continue to be a part of my life. I know you want that too and I will try my best. But for now, its the end of our chapter and for a new one to begin..

I'll never forget our very last phone conversation. It was like the very first time we talked on the phone till the sun rose. Its funny how I talked about wanting to watch the sunrise with you on the day of and we stayed on the phone till the sun came up.. I really didn't want our conversation to end cause I knew that from then on, things wont be the same anymore. Waking up knowing you aren't there is the hardest part for me. But i know that things will get better and Im staying strong. Because we both want what is best for each other...

and I already miss you so much.

"If you love something, you sometimes have to let it go and if its meant to be then it will come back"

"If we're meant to be then we'll be back together no matter what"